Joy Riding 4-Wheelers is Gay and Idiotic

[Fish Felon]

And also, now that fowler has quarantined himself to the waterfowl discussion forums, I have to thank you for picking up the slack.

Was getting a little quiet in here without all of the C&P!

I took a break after our last dust-up in hopes that my absence would make him comfortable enough to start posting again....but I don't think he's coming back.....never thought I'd say that.

Al-h2ofwlr---if you're out there---please consider coming back. Until then I'll try to carry the torch.


My opinion on side by sides is similar to 4-wheelers. If they're used as a tool or purchased for a specific job that's OK. Not sure what that job would be in order to justify spending the money on one versus buying an old jeep or bronco that would cost less, serve the same purpose and then some, and could be driven without looking like a total dork...on roads no less.


If guys want to pound some beers and make a couple runs up and down the ditch by all means go for it. Should you be a little embarrassed when a vehicle drives by and sees you doing it? Yes. It's kind of like how you should feel embarrassed dancing in public but once some chick is grinding your junk it's totally worth it.

Shnelson, if you went to an ATV park by yourself close to home to get more use out of your 4-wheeler that wouldn't be super gay...but it'd still be a little gay.

1. That money is spent. Riding it to justify the purchase won't bring it back. Be content to have and use it as a tool the 1% of the time it's out of the garage. Forcing yourself to use it more unecessarily would be like a farmer driving their combine to get groceries out of guilt of only using it three weeks a year. They spent a lot of money on it too.

2. If you really feel the need to ride it why would you ever go to a designated area? It's an ALL-TERRAIN-VEHICLE. Surely you know a spot or two to ride the thing without having to hit the brakes every couple minutes for the phag on the trail in front of you while hoping the phag behind you doesn't plow your rear end. The thought of waiting for the mud pit or loading up in the parking lot possibly being seen by others is too much.

3. Do you really have nothing else you'd rather be doing? You seem like a pretty busy stand-up guy. There's things I have to do and things I want to do; going to an ATV park would fall under a 'want.' Really? That's what you want to do?? There’s no fish bite, hunting, drinking, overtime at your job, walls to paint, garage to clean, etc?

If I was dropped off in the parking lot of an ATV park with a brand new 4-wheeler and hours to kill before being picked up I would exhaust the battery on my phone first and then probably rip off a piece of my shirt to dip in the tank and then start huffing gas.


But to each their own! As long as they're not using dedicated funding to pay for this shit I don't care.

[Drunk_Dynasty]

fish felon you got some serious anger issues man, but I'm with you on this one. Mindlessly pressing down a throttle and just putzing around aimlessly the woods on some noisy-ass set of wheels is hella boring.

[Fish Felon]

I might have anger issues but I feel better after exercising my demons on this one and venting...


...with that being said, Gimp is f--king hardcore!!

Wish they knew what trespassing is around here.

I've finally had to spike their trails they made on private land because they don't understand what stay the fk out of here means.

Team Power Dump

Brilliant just my style!!!!

What is the best method, spikes in a 2x8 buried in the ground?

Had a buddy weld up some steel tubing with steel rods every three inches. 4 foot long with 4" spikes ground to a point.

Team Power Dump

[StuStiltman]

About joyriding being gay and idiotic, I don't quite agree with that. If someone has a legit reason to drop a rediculous amount of money on a 4 wheeler, (plowing snow on my 1/3 mile driveway is my reason) then it only makes sense that the guy ( in this example me) would want to enjoy his investment more than 5 months a year, I enjoy cruising around my land and my neighbor's land, especially in the spring before planting starts, its a good way to have some fun between late ice and the crappie spawn. But trailering my 4 wheeler a hundred miles to tear up a trail certainly doesn't sound fun to me. I think I get where your coming from with your original post, I'm guessing it's a jab against suburbanites who spend 6 to 10k or more for a toy they don't need. I get that, kinda like how when I see a 3/4 ton truck without a hitch, waste of money, bubba to the max. You've been accused of trolling, its understandable considering the title of this thread, "gay and idiotic" isn't exactly a good way to encourage intelligent conversation.

[HnkrCrash]

Do you feel the same about snowmobiles? Same general premise, but virtually no other legitimate use. Not sure I'd go to Cidiot ATV Park and Awesomeness Land with my quad, but driving around the forest roads up north while bar hopping is a good way to spend a Saturday IMO, and the handlebars make a great rest for blasting grouse with a .22.

[Fish Felon]

You've been accused of trolling, its understandable considering the title of this thread, "gay and idiotic" isn't exactly a good way to encourage intelligent conversation.

But it is a good way to make conversation. I get your point and it'd be valid if we weren't a bunch of strangers sharing our opinions on the internet. I disagree that this isn't intelligent conversation. Just because a discussion is crass doesn't mean it isn't intelligent.

If we had this conversation in a professional setting we could walk on egg shells and gently offer up snippits of our true opinion in order to maintain professionalism and not offend anyone. Then after finally getting the gist of what each other is saying we could passive-aggressively throw a few barbs at each other if we think we're in disagreement before ending the discussion without actually getting anywhere by shaking hands and telling one another to, "take care."

How is that conversation intelligent?

I don't think anyone here is retarded enough to think they can converse like they do when hammered around a campfire all-the-time. I have "intelligent conversations" all day with countless assholes. I'm sure as hell not going to talk like that with my friends or get on here after a few drinks trying to unwind and be all PC.




A possibility just occurred to me that I've never considered. Are there people out there who spend 100% of their lives filtered out of fear that they might offend someone?

Is a guy like Goldfish conciously always treading lightly and only offering up "polite conversation fit for the faint ears of his mother?"

Has a guy like Goldfish ever drank too much and lost his shit and been an asshole?

If Goldfish had a 4-wheeler and loved spending weekends cruising the trails at ATV parks, and somehow we ended up wasted around a campfire and I was all like,

"Anyone who rides a 4-wheeler purely for recreation on designated trails is a total f--king homo!"

Would I hear crickets chirp or would the conversation continue something like this?

"F--k you dick! Me and my homeys go on several 4-wheelin' trips a year and it's bad freaking ace! Have you ever even ripped some trails up wheelin' before?"

"Hell no!"

"Well then shut the f--k up, don't knock it until you try it!"

"Sweet, so I can putz around looking like a phag!? No thanks---I'll pass!"

"Why do you have to be like that? You know, if you weren't such a narrow minded prick I'd mention it to the other guys and see if I could throw you an invite for the next weekend we're wheelin."

"Thanks but no thanks. We'll have to agree to disagree on this one."

"Fair enough, we can agree to disagree. As long as I don't hear anymore 'joy riding 4-wheelers is gay and idiotic' bullshit from you since you won't even give it a chance....you're talking out of your ass on this one."

"Whatever man, fair enough......"

And then we'd pound some more beer and discuss the sexist conspiracy of men having to leave the seat down despite the fact it'd make way more sense for women to put the seat up, how to destroy ISIS, duck hunting, why Somalis are the worst thing to happen to MN since drain tile, the last time we each did cocaine or smoke crank and how awesome it was, if h2ofwlr will ever return and the odds of him being a closet homosexual, how each and every MN sports team will be good next year, why it's more fun and rewarding to process your deer instead of bringing it to a butcher, how awesome it'd be if we had some cocaine or crank....

...and we'd agree on everything.

Flash forward six months: Goldfish would convince me to join him and his boys on a wheeler weekend and I have the time of my life. Not only do I go out and finance a new Polaris XP 1000 and trailer, custom airbrush my truck with wheeler scenes for the world to enjoy, but I ink the Polaris logo, tramp-stamp baby! F Artic Cat!




But I'm guessing that instead of all that awesomeness happening I'd simply hear crickets.

Looking back I've probably encountered a lot of Goldfish's along the way---they were the unmemorable random person someone brought along that stood a little farther back from the campfire and said nothing before being the first to go to bed. Super nice dudes. The type where you tell him how great it was to meet him and hope we can do it again real soon before he hits the road at noon on a Sunday while everyone else is drinking bloody mary's. You swap numbers as if you're new friends. You're really thinking, "that dude will make a fantastic baby sitter," and then mentally start going through the calendar trying to think of the next time you and the Misses can skip town for a weekend and get freaky.


Do guys like Goldfish live their lives always tempering their true opinion in fear of getting punched in the face?

How pathetic.

I know you're a little guy Golsfish but so am I, trust me on this one, getting punched in the face is definitely worth the price of being able to speak your mind.

I'd rather take a knife in the gut than live like you.

[Quack]

Well, to the topic of sleds, the difference between snowmobiles & atvs is that snowmobiles don't leave ruts & mud holes.

[Drunk_Dynasty]

You've been accused of trolling, its understandable considering the title of this thread, "gay and idiotic" isn't exactly a good way to encourage intelligent conversation.

But it is a good way to make conversation. I get your point and it'd be valid if we weren't a bunch of strangers sharing our opinions on the internet. I disagree that this isn't intelligent conversation. Just because a discussion is crass doesn't mean it isn't intelligent.

If we had this conversation in a professional setting we could walk on egg shells and gently offer up snippits of our true opinion in order to maintain professionalism and not offend anyone. Then after finally getting the gist of what each other is saying we could passive-aggressively throw a few barbs at each other if we think we're in disagreement before ending the discussion without actually getting anywhere by shaking hands and telling one another to, "take care."

How is that conversation intelligent?

I don't think anyone here is retarded enough to think they can converse like they do when hammered around a campfire all-the-time. I have "intelligent conversations" all day with countless assholes. I'm sure as hell not going to talk like that with my friends or get on here after a few drinks trying to unwind and be all PC.




A possibility just occurred to me that I've never considered. Are there people out there who spend 100% of their lives filtered out of fear that they might offend someone?

Is a guy like Goldfish conciously always treading lightly and only offering up "polite conversation fit for the faint ears of his mother?"

Has a guy like Goldfish ever drank too much and lost his shit and been an asshole?

If Goldfish had a 4-wheeler and loved spending weekends cruising the trails at ATV parks, and somehow we ended up wasted around a campfire and I was all like,

"Anyone who rides a 4-wheeler purely for recreation on designated trails is a total f--king homo!"

Would I hear crickets chirp or would the conversation continue something like this?

"F--k you dick! Me and my homeys go on several 4-wheelin' trips a year and it's bad freaking ace! Have you ever even ripped some trails up wheelin' before?"

"Hell no!"

"Well then shut the f--k up, don't knock it until you try it!"

"Sweet, so I can putz around looking like a phag!? No thanks---I'll pass!"

"Why do you have to be like that? You know, if you weren't such a narrow minded prick I'd mention it to the other guys and see if I could throw you an invite for the next weekend we're wheelin."

"Thanks but no thanks. We'll have to agree to disagree on this one."

"Fair enough, we can agree to disagree. As long as I don't hear anymore 'joy riding 4-wheelers is gay and idiotic' bullshit from you since you won't even give it a chance....you're talking out of your ass on this one."

"Whatever man, fair enough......"

And then we'd pound some more beer and discuss the sexist conspiracy of men having to leave the seat down despite the fact it'd make way more sense for women to put the seat up, how to destroy ISIS, duck hunting, why Somalis are the worst thing to happen to MN since drain tile, the last time we each did cocaine or smoke crank and how awesome it was, if h2ofwlr will ever return and the odds of him being a closet homosexual, how each and every MN sports team will be good next year, why it's more fun and rewarding to process your deer instead of bringing it to a butcher, how awesome it'd be if we had some cocaine or crank....

...and we'd agree on everything.

Flash forward six months: Goldfish would convince me to join him and his boys on a wheeler weekend and I have the time of my life. Not only do I go out and finance a new Polaris XP 1000 and trailer, custom airbrush my truck with wheeler scenes for the world to enjoy, but I ink the Polaris logo, tramp-stamp baby! F Artic Cat!




But I'm guessing that instead of all that awesomeness happening I'd simply hear crickets.

Looking back I've probably encountered a lot of Goldfish's along the way---they were the unmemorable random person someone brought along that stood a little farther back from the campfire and said nothing before being the first to go to bed. Super nice dudes. The type where you tell him how great it was to meet him and hope we can do it again real soon before he hits the road at noon on a Sunday while everyone else is drinking bloody mary's. You swap numbers as if you're new friends. You're really thinking, "that dude will make a fantastic baby sitter," and then mentally start going through the calendar trying to think of the next time you and the Misses can skip town for a weekend and get freaky.


Do guys like Goldfish live their lives always tempering their true opinion in fear of getting punched in the face?

How pathetic.

I know you're a little guy Golsfish but so am I, trust me on this one, getting punched in the face is definitely worth the price of being able to speak your mind.

I'd rather take a knife in the gut than live like you.

*insert "didn't read gif" here*

[Trigger]

[quote="shnelson"]Oh man, if you're this worked up about ATVs, how do you feel about side by sides?

Nothing beats having your broseph riding bitch to hold your hand around that next bank![quote]
This was hilarious. It's so true. Recreationally riding a 4-wheeler is for people scared of speed and/or can't ride a two wheeler. But side by sides are a whole new level of gayness. It's too big for real trails, to big to wheelie, can't get over a log, can't go through mud, can't go through snow, it's a vehicle that needs a road to go anywhere, but isn't street legal.

As for the comparison if snowmobiles to atv's. It's like comparing duck hunting to pheasant hunting. Kind of the same, but waaaayyyy different. But at the same time, kind of gay if your just riding trails.

[Goldfish]

*insert "didn't read gif" here*

Glad I'm not the only one. I saw my name in it a couple times as I scrolled past it all on my phone, I could probably read what he's going on about, but I really don't care.