Killing Eagles

[Fish Felon]

Have any of you guys killed an eagle?

Of course this is just a joke thread where we'll all be writing fictitious responses. It's fun to do fictional writing exercises.....my favorite genre of English is creative-nonfiction, which is only 85% real, as well as creative-fiction which is whatever degree of reality that you want.

The point being, any responses given on this thread will be under the context of being purely fictional:

Go!


I've never killed an eagle. I know a guy who lives on a pretty remote parcel of land 80-acres in size who has killed several. He's always shot them with a high power rifle, then dumped their remains onto his burn pile, doused with petrol, tossed a match, and wash rinse repeat....eagle feathers burn the color you'd expect after being doused with gas by the way....a pretty light to medium hue of blue.

I don't have the option of killing an eagle with a high power. The reason why the crusty old fukc I mentioned previously in this purely fictitious story killed eagles was because he owned a small dog....actually two small dogs....the first died horrifically as he was working in his garden and an eagle swooped down, talloned his fukcing ankle biter dog 20-25 yards away, the sounds of it all were so horrifying he says he still has nightmares about his little dog he watched jeopardy with every night wagging his tail while in his lap.....well, when you watch an eagle fly away with it's talons in your pet as it writhes in pain giving the death howel as it tries to bite the animal that's toes has cut gaping holes in it's torsoe as blood gushes out of it in a solid stream before it goes limp as it flies away with the the carcass to feed to a couple chicks a la those fukcing monkeys in the 'Wizard of Oz.'


I'm trying to avoid that with my cats....had to chuck an almost full beer at the eagle that came within six feet of one of my cats as I ran towards it as fast as I could. Too close to comfort in my book.

This same eagle pair has gotten very fond of eating fish right in front of our dock.

Has anyone ever poisoned an eagle by putting toxic shit in a dead fish they floated?

If so, what did you use?