kwackkillncrew wrote:MN gets a teal season....teal head out 3 weeks earlier then normal.... teal seasons over before it starts.
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Even worse, MN gets a teal season....few to any teal hatch on the continent immediately after it's announced....diminished population of adults, now no longer over-abundant, migrate three weeks early....
....Dennis Anderson is given cannon fodder to bitch louder than ever from here on out to eternity.....
....He's so pissed off he chooses to never retire for the expressed interest of bitching about it in every Sunday's STrib edition for years until one day it finally gives him a brain aneurysm.....
....Junior Anderson moves back to MN from MT to continue the cause, and bitch about the MN DNR having a teal season the rest of his long life.....
....all because he's bitter and has an axe to grind because "the teal season killed his dad."
We all die long before DA's kid does, so after being forced to endure their annoying bullshit to the day each of us finally gets to feel death's warm embrace just to finally get a reprieve from them bitching about the teal season in perpetuity....
....The End
Until DA Junior gets burried inside a giant mosaleaum that has a huge eternal flame shooting out the top designed to look like fiery cattails, burning beneath a hologram flock of flying teal....all this shit is possible in 2102 when the world has been ruled by robots for three decades by then.
The End of the End of the End......
Until the division of robot doctors (mechanics?) decide to re-animate DA's brain (Junior had it cryogenically frozen for this, of course), drain the blood out of it in order to surgically repair it, in order to then digitally download it into the robot body they've created in his likeness....that sits legless at a desk where it ironically pecks away at an ancient typewriter because the robots have become hipsters after three decades of power, which inevitably created their ensuing boredom and a lack of meaning and purpose to their robot lives, and now love watching any machine prior to their reign being operated, because it's vintage, and the arts and cultural heritage portion of the legacy amendment still exists to fund such historical museum exhibits for their amusement and longing for an identity....of knowing where they came from, and getting the fulfillment of being able to identify with a simpler time where their ancestors existed with such a distinct purpose that's utterly lacking from their present existence....they yearn for the simpler times when their ancestors were able to slave away and create something of value by utilizing the primitive power sources they harnessed efficiently from strange and different places.....such as human hands pecking at them in deliberate fashion.....
....and thus, robot Dennis Anderson types away.....story after story......for all of what turns out to literally be eternity......behind a large piece of thick plexiglass inside a popular exhibit in a robot museum, frequented by the lowest form of riff-raff mankind was fortunate to never have the displeasure of knowing.....lonely and soulless middle-aged robot hipsters.
....and there robot DA sits at his old desk plugging away at a vintage machine about how the MN DNR should've never held a teal season, over and over and over and over again never realizing he's stuck in hell because he still lacks the self-awareness to stop himself from being so naive as to believe he's died and gone to heaven....and ignorance is truly bliss, as they say.
The End that isn't an ending since this story is one of how DA will write infinite articles bashing the teal season for all of time......
The ∞ ....the symbol after "The" stands for "infinite" in case any of you didn't get something I thought was pretty clever but was probably just really retarded.