maplelakeduckslayer wrote:Meh I've been in two weddings where I haven't talked to the guys in over a year...one was a sad deal his kid got cancer he got depressed and just kinda fell outta the loop and drinks I'm the garage alone every night... should probably reach out to him soon
Other guy kinda got a whole new group of friends(kids sports teams, which is kind of to be expected) but liked that new group cause he could be the big dog and be better than everyone else, make more money, seem like a big shot, etc
So if asked...no I wouldn't decline. Even on a hunting opener. But I also wouldn't expect lifelong bonds or some sort of huge moment out of it
Then you got the whole reciprocity sort of thing...I had you in my wedding I should be in yours. Which is a chick way of thinking. But honestly those two wouldn't have them in my wedding. Been in two other weddings where those guys definitely will be
Whole wedding thing is annoying period...
Oh, I'm not saying lifelong bonds necessarily will happen, but they can, and regardless....that's what the intentions are of the people who are asking when going into it.
For whatever reason, the ones that do seem to last are the brother-in-law ones similar to what Take-a-Gander shared. If it's a brother.....it's not like you wind up being besties with his wife, for a lot of reasons. But sister? I only have a couple...compared to five brothers.....but like both brothers-in-law. Me and my other bros feel very fortunate that are sisters married good dudes. One is the best deer hunter I know, and both are pretty damn good fisherman.
My buddy is coming up in a couple weeks with his brother-in-law to ice fish . Seems pretty common for that to happen. But unlike buddies....unless they screw up....or your sister is a ho and he winds up divorcing her....you're going to be seeing him at every family dinner, he's going to be the father of nieces and nephews, more importantly the father of your parents grandkids......the brother-in-law is a pretty important person who you want to be on solid footing longterm. If you get asked to be in your sister's wedding? Honestly that's the most important one in terms of how serious it is, how much value it'll carry in terms of your own happiness and that of your family's.....don't mess that one up at all costs.
Buddies who get married with you in the wedding?
Not nearly as important. Most likely in five years time those people will just be someone you exchange Christmas cards in the mail with every year. The X-factor is kids. If you each have a kid around the same age there's a much better chance that'll be a buddy in ten, twenty years after their wedding.