I’m dying

[emptymag]

Youth soccer, “coached” by parents that have never played soccer

[maplelakeduckslayer]

Lol ya sounds miserable. Just having soccer in the description sounded miserable the other stuff is icing. Bring a flask?

[lanyard]

I played soccer through college. Wife signs kid up for the 5 year old community ed "all kids get keepsake medal" b.s., says I should coach. I refused, anticipating things like building a desire to win would not be appreciated.

Go to first "event", I can't even call it a game- "we don't keep score", and the "coach" is late, Community Ed director comes over to parents to see if anyone could help out, so me and another guy head out.

Other dude groups the kids together and starts the pre-game speech with, "Okay, remember, sometimes we might get kicked or maybe someone steps on our toe, but remember they are learning, and if it hurts, it's okay to cry..." or some such sh!t.

I walked off the field.

I got knocked out three times, 4 concussions, broke all but my big toes, have zero ligament support in my ankles, and made my trade as a full-back, where better than scoring a goal was slide tackling some b!tch mid-fielder, taking the ball, douching him, and popping up to carry the ball up-field.

No phucking way was I telling some kid to not get retribution... rather, I'd coach them "how" to do it and avoid penalties.

Neither of my kids played soccer after 8 yrs. Likely better for all of us. Floppers need their asses kicked.

If you ever watch Ted Lasso- I was the Roy Kent of youth coaching. Love that guy.

[Fish Felon]

Ugh, I feel for you. Any hot soccer moms in my wheelhouse?

[emptymag]

Ugh, I feel for you. Any hot soccer moms in my wheelhouse?

Not really