It happened...

[Fish Felon]

Honestly? If my dad ever gets to the point where he has dementia and wants to end it?

You better believe I want him to have a gun. I don't think he'd ever ask me to do it, but if he did I absolutely would help him end it.

I wouldn't shoot him and couldn't unless I want to go to prison. Guns are the best way of endiing it if you're ending your own but there are better ways if someone is gifting you your death.

Drowning is a peaceful death. I'd make it look like fell overboard with the anchor rope wrapped up around his leg. I'd do it somewhere in 12' to 15' with a nice solid bottom that's weed free.....I wouldn't want him having his dying moments be with his head hurting from water pressure, or be too deep for a lot of reasons....I'd do it in the middle of a nice sunny day so when he stood there anchored to the sandy bottom totally unobstructed from weeds or being forced to touch them.....he could stand there on the bottom and look up towards the light, and not have him die where it's deep, dark, cold, and scary.....I'd make sure he died the best death possible pain free, one that would easily be written up as an accident once investigated......

.....and I'd make sure he'd have no problem looking up, seeing the light that exists on God's great earth.....and knowing to go towards it as he passes from this life to the next. If heaven exists, or any sort of afterlife, I know he'll be going to the best possible place that exists in the afterlife. My father is a Saint....the best man I've ever met, let alone been fortunate to know very well, and I'm not sure why God tested him with a shitbag of a son that I've been.....all I know is I'll never do enough in this lifetime or any other to deserve having him as my father.

Perhaps the only purpose I'm here on this earth to serve is by gaining the sliver of redemption I'll get towards making things a little more right between us my making sure he gets the good death he deserves where he's able to leave this world dignified....just like he lived his life while here.

If my dad ever needs me to help him leave this world....whenever he thinks it's his time you better damn well believe there's not a thing anyone will be able to do to get in the way of me providing him with the best fukcing death possible.

It's literally....like...literally the least I could do for him. No way my dad is dying as some poor old fukc drooling on himself, needing his diapers changed, while blankly staring at the ceiling in a nursing home.......I'll burn the entire fukcing home to the ground with him, me, and everyone else in it before I'd let anyone do that to him....same goes for my mom.

[Drunk_Dynasty]

Please try to think about ways to get redemption other than assisted suicide. You're not helping your mental health focusing on such dark things.

Edit: go get on some Lexapro. I’m serious.

[Fish Felon]

Naw man, it's not depressing.....it's a good thing. Death doesn't have to be weird, it's inherently weird and macabre but it shouldn't be as taboo to discuss as it is.

What kind of death are you hoping for yourself?

[Fish Felon]

Healthy consistent doses of shrooms do a lot more for ya than antidepressants will. Factual thing to say with all the recent research supporting it.

[Drunk_Dynasty]

Sometimes I think u wrote these punk rock song lyrics. That’s not a dis cause it’s a sick verse.

“My girlfriend says I lack empathy
Thinks I'm a narcissist and I need gnarly therapy
I'm sober, not even amphetamines
The self-refection makes my skin crawl like a centipede”


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[Drunk_Dynasty]

Naw man, it's not depressing.....it's a good thing. Death doesn't have to be weird, it's inherently weird and macabre but it shouldn't be as taboo to discuss as it is.

What kind of death are you hoping for yourself?

Idk, I try not think about it cause there’s no realistic way I’ll ever have one that’s cool. Very few people die with honor, or gloriously, most people just die.


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[recker7676]

Sometimes I think u wrote these punk rock song lyrics. That’s not a dis cause it’s a sick verse.

“My girlfriend says I lack empathy
Thinks I'm a narcissist and I need gnarly therapy
I'm sober, not even amphetamines
The self-refection makes my skin crawl like a centipede”


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My wife has always said I lack empathy. I guess I am not an in touch new age feelings guy. I say we'll you say you also want a manly man so you don't get both. I can show compassion without crying and having a deep conversation on feelings. She usually says ok I can talk to my fiends about emotions.

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[maplelakeduckslayer]

Gf and I have talked about death. I want it to be quick like a car accident or just not waking up one morning.

Gf always says, you don't want people to be able to say goodbye etc? I'd like to spend time with you.

F no. Usually, on the good side being able to "say goodbye" means days to weeks of causing your family severe emotional and financial stress... watching you waste away and missing work, traveling etc. plus the pity. No effing way I want to be in a hospital bed looking at relatives crying and trying to talk to me like everything will be ok etc. Plus just dealing with all the appts doctors etc like if you get cancer...f that. On the long side it can be years of people feeling like they need to adjust their schedules, see you etc to pay their respects as you are dying

My only wish is it's quick and people don't even have time to process it, I don't care how it happens. I mean preferably not painful like burning alive or something but like a massive heart attack at 75-80 would do the trick.

My dad's side has been quick...grandpa had an aneurysm burst and grandma had a stroke. Although she survived on the floor for 2 days before uncle found her...then they had to starve her for another 5 before she gave in. Dad has already had a heart attack. Mom's side was slower with cancer. I certainly hope I got dad's side with me. Watching my grandpa and his sister rot away from cancer in the hospital was not fun at all. I still remember her saying repeatedly she just wanted to die...in front of her daughter and all of us sitting there. I don't want to cause that sort of distress to people

[maplelakeduckslayer]

Keep an open mind and find professionals that can help. Declines in mental health are often multiple-diagnosis that may involve physical conditions and alcohol could be a contributing factor. Depending on health care and resources, your County Health and Human Services should be able to assist in resources for the family without having to bring your dad to them or say who he is. It will give you and your sister a starting point. You might be able to talk to someone that can offer insight as to what behaviors to watch for.

Not to get generational, it's just a fact of stage of life and experience, but many of the Baby Boom males I know have defined their entire life by their career. Business owners and professional services (accountants, attorneys) in particular have spend decades with "I am a business owner...." or "I am an attorney....". As they come to the end of their career they come to the end of everything they've measured themselves by- they struggle with identity, self-worth, etc. I've seen iit co-workers, family members (including my dad), hunting buddies.

Any struggles he has with you not taking over the company may NOT be so much about "passing on a legacy" or any sort of cash-out, it might simply be without the company in your control, it actually goes away - you not taking over does not enable his identity needs.

I did not deal well with my dad's cancer, in part because I had difficulty understanding his needs to be valued by his business and how much of his identity was tied to a 40 year career: a national network, employees he could take care of, their families. The last conversation I remember with him in hospice was him telling me to make sure I got the quotes out on Tuesday. My last trip with him was ice fishing to Lake of the Woods and it ended up being an industry networking event. I think about it a lot and looking back, realize how much of an asshole I was at various points, that for most of my adult life his business and employees were closer to his family as he spent wayyyyy more time with them and they had a symbiotic relationship: he needed them, they needed him. We never hit estrangement, but when I knew I was losing him had some odd expectation there should be a bond that no longer exited- time and nature did their job- that bond was too my family, not my parents any longer. He's dying and I'm selfishly pissed off because every time we did something together some "work friend" had to be there.

Last part, for you: part of this process that will beat the sh!t out of you is parenting the parent. Forcing Dr. appointments, diets, meds, etc.... make sure you have your own resources set-up, make time for you to clear your head. Don't tell your dad. I don't care if it's solo-hunts or heading to the cabin alone to get blackout drunk.... but if you don't take time to reset your own head, you get mad and start a bad internal conversation and the results from that are always bad.

Wishing you the best.

Thanks! Ya part of me thinks he never would have sold it. It was his. He had it listed and had a couple interested parties...I don't think he would have gone through with it. Even when things got bad his project manager wanted to buy and he wouldn't sell to him...

He'll still have a sense of it because he'll keep it to keep working on his rental properties and I keep up the continuing education for the license. Maybe we'll flip some houses together. So he still has his life but he no longer has to run all over the cities all day dealing with customers. But he still has ,"his business"