Tue Nov 26, 2019 8:27 am
Chuck's on it for the practical side. Hobbydog is right on with finding something to do that involves a goal.
On the "brother advice" side..... you're going Groundhog Day in the "Waiting Place". You're bored as sh!t, guessing at what you're "supposed" to be doing. There's no *normal*. Hell, Bullet's an asshole and he's happy because he's got his sh!t figured out and isn't waiting for someone/something to drop epiphany on his head. There's no participation trophy, no Atta Boy. For all the BS about dudes being the ruin of the world, we're generally a lonely , isolated, depressed group. Doesn't matter if you're married, kids, etc.
Step 1: Get in someplace to keep you breathing on this rock.
Step 2: Stop trying to figure out what you're supposed to be that makes other people happy. If you're an asshole, just be confident in being an asshole. One of my best friends is likely the smartest dude I know but his love affair with Winston Golds, Miller High Life and being a Hermit keeps him out of any conventional work/success so he runs his own company selling parts for antiquated equipment and doesn't give a ****. Rolls $100k+ and the only public place he's seen is grocery store, post office and liquor store. I'm jealous AF of that guy 2-3 days a week because he figured it out: Make bank : **** 'em.
This will sound lame compared to all BS you'll get form a Life Coach or some other such person with degrees in helping figure their sh!t out, but based on the breadth of your digital trail that I've seen, because who knows what else is out there, my best bet for you being sane is to go buy a Subway franchise. 1) it comes with brand/identity; 2) EVERYONE knows what it is, so when you meet them it's, "Oh, I own the Subway in Garrison"; 3) You don't have to be a good community citizen when you own the Subway, because people going to eat Subway; 4) you don't have to make much for business decisions, it's pretty much "canned"; 5) employees suck, but WTF, it's Garrison, so their working for you, McDonald's etc, and if your personality is as half ass iconic in real life as it is on line then you'll be the employer of choice because that bossy bitch that runs McDonald's is no where the cool kids want to hang out; 6) You just got to be there to count the money and not deal with people/customers, that's Manager's job.
Dude I worked for in college owned 3- Dominoe's franchises, never actually worked. Lost all three due to gambling debts, but WTF, it was a good 20 year run for him of half-assing his way through life and paying himself out of the till...... was a little weird when I showed up to work one day and US Marshalls were there to open the store!
Get help for the mental/suicide side, but realize that any conventional definition of success (job, wife, 2 kids, etc) is 10x more **** than the picture on their X-mas card will tell you. I live among them, their sh!t's wayyyyyyy phucked up.