Hard Seltzer

[cstemig]

Church is supposed to be a place to heal and re-start. Pity & isolation
Is curable. Life’s cycles always bring change, not always good. Connect with others and you will benefit from it.

[Fish Felon]

Along the lines of what I said about church....there's a lot of places that are difficult to go to and enjoy as a middle-aged single man.

My parents watch several of my nieces and nephews during the week and a month ago I went with them and two of my nieces (both four years old) and two of my nephews (one's three the other is eighteen months) to the MN Zoo.

One niece was being a total little shit....kept running ahead....like way ahead....to where we constantly were stopping and being like, "Where is she?"

Anyways.....we got everyone seated and were waiting for the bird show and I needed a quick break....so I strolled down to the food court and bought a fountain drink....all the teenagers working there stopped talking and stared at me like someone had drawn a dick on my face. I had my 'Street dreams' hat on, hoodie, blue jeans, brown leather belt to match my brown leather shoes and brown leather jacket.....in my opinion not looking real sketchy or anything....

Then I went to take a leak before heading back and catching the bird show.....

....I get to the bathrooms and there's a chick around my age standing outside it and I open the door and there's three little boys in the bathroom.....like five being the oldest down to the two or three year old with his pants around his ankles having what I'm assuming was his older brother help him at the low urinal. I go in and do my business....am in and out before they're done, since it's three little kids trying to navigate a fairly large public bathroom.

Upon existing there's a dude zoo worker across the hall/walkway....basically standing at the edge of the food court.....and this fukcer with a walkie talkie followed me all the way back to the bird show, stood at the back door, and finally left after watching me sit down with my folks and nieces and nephews.

It's that friggin' uncommon for a single dude my age to go the zoo on a weekday.

That wasn't depressing at all.....unlike going to church......and holy shit.....the amount of smoking hot young to middle-aged moms in yoga pants looking hot as shit strolling around the zoo on a weekday is ridiculous. The zoo actually made me feel better about myself, minus the dude with the walkie talkie, because several of them were checking me out......not because I'm great looking or anything.....but because I'm literally the only dude there......I'm it! No other dudes their age to check out or interact with.....which you kind of get acclimated and interact with your 'herd' as you stroll through looking at shit with your respective little shits interacting with their kids and moving forward, or backwards, along the trails at variable intervals depending on much they like, or don't like, certain animals or exhibits.

For you guys with little kids---use a sick day to take your kid(s) to the zoo, and go without your gal if that's an option.

Seriously.....the zoo on a weekday....think it was a Wednesday.......had the most and best trim I've seen anywhere in a while.

[Fish Felon]

Church is supposed to be a place to heal and re-start. Pity & isolation
Is curable. Life’s cycles always bring change, not always good. Connect with others and you will benefit from it.

Sound advice, thank you Chuck.

[Fish Felon]

I did call and leave a voicemail to a licensed physician on Saturday about an adult, clinical, support group that meets on Monday evenings......he has yet to call back.

I'm not claiming it's some huge effort, but I do make efforts at times....in different and various ways. I'm not sure how to help myself, or if I can be helped and get better at this point......but I do try on occasion......

[emptymag]

Go check into a inpatient mental health unit, and don’t leave early.

[cstemig]

Kudos for trying to get help. Don’t stop to rethink it, go forward and make it happen.

There should be some Mental Health lines to call. If nothing else, dial 911 and ask for help.

[Fish Felon]

Thanks for advice, recommendations, and concerns. I'm going to do something....I'm not exactly sure what, but I'm looking into options for professional help. Prairie Care fricking blows....been there, done that....have been down this road many times before, hopefully I can find something that's more effective. I know ultimately it comes down to me making a real effort to change, but I'm hoping I can find something that's more compatible with what I need to get going and then stay on track.

I'm going to be putting some considerable thought into it but no too much to where I don't do anything or talk myself out of it.

Right now I need to clean up the shithole I created while hammered before heading to the cities. I feel like garbage. Need some rest too......

[maplelakeduckslayer]

You'll be alright felon, there's different levels of **** up we all are, some more than others, but we can all make it through if we put our minds to it. The mind is a powerful thing

[hobbydog]

Did you ever think that maybe you just have too much free time? Maybe you need a job that is physically challenging. Build a cabin. Hike the Appalachian Trail.

[lanyard]

Chuck's on it for the practical side. Hobbydog is right on with finding something to do that involves a goal.

On the "brother advice" side..... you're going Groundhog Day in the "Waiting Place". You're bored as sh!t, guessing at what you're "supposed" to be doing. There's no *normal*. Hell, Bullet's an asshole and he's happy because he's got his sh!t figured out and isn't waiting for someone/something to drop epiphany on his head. There's no participation trophy, no Atta Boy. For all the BS about dudes being the ruin of the world, we're generally a lonely , isolated, depressed group. Doesn't matter if you're married, kids, etc.

Step 1: Get in someplace to keep you breathing on this rock.

Step 2: Stop trying to figure out what you're supposed to be that makes other people happy. If you're an asshole, just be confident in being an asshole. One of my best friends is likely the smartest dude I know but his love affair with Winston Golds, Miller High Life and being a Hermit keeps him out of any conventional work/success so he runs his own company selling parts for antiquated equipment and doesn't give a ****. Rolls $100k+ and the only public place he's seen is grocery store, post office and liquor store. I'm jealous AF of that guy 2-3 days a week because he figured it out: Make bank : **** 'em.

This will sound lame compared to all BS you'll get form a Life Coach or some other such person with degrees in helping figure their sh!t out, but based on the breadth of your digital trail that I've seen, because who knows what else is out there, my best bet for you being sane is to go buy a Subway franchise. 1) it comes with brand/identity; 2) EVERYONE knows what it is, so when you meet them it's, "Oh, I own the Subway in Garrison"; 3) You don't have to be a good community citizen when you own the Subway, because people going to eat Subway; 4) you don't have to make much for business decisions, it's pretty much "canned"; 5) employees suck, but WTF, it's Garrison, so their working for you, McDonald's etc, and if your personality is as half ass iconic in real life as it is on line then you'll be the employer of choice because that bossy bitch that runs McDonald's is no where the cool kids want to hang out; 6) You just got to be there to count the money and not deal with people/customers, that's Manager's job.

Dude I worked for in college owned 3- Dominoe's franchises, never actually worked. Lost all three due to gambling debts, but WTF, it was a good 20 year run for him of half-assing his way through life and paying himself out of the till...... was a little weird when I showed up to work one day and US Marshalls were there to open the store!

Get help for the mental/suicide side, but realize that any conventional definition of success (job, wife, 2 kids, etc) is 10x more **** than the picture on their X-mas card will tell you. I live among them, their sh!t's wayyyyyyy phucked up.